How my panic attacks manifest themselves:

The physical symptoms of my panic attacks:

1. Elevated heart rate: (I think I hate this the most out of all of the symptoms, because it's so hard to control and worrying it's going too fast makes it go even faster).

2. Sweating: (this one is as pretty as it sounds).

3. Nausea: (again, not a joy, though generally speaking I don't tend to get this too frequently).

4. Chest pain: (which is either from the panic attack itself or the costochondritis. Not a fun symptom and usually recognising that my chest hurts is the reason I start to panic).

5. Shaking: (This is a very recent symptom which I believe is stemming from me worrying that being too cold will affect my health. I have also theorised that this could be happening as it is a very physical symptom that other people can see and may be a cry for help).

6. Fight or flight: (And for me, it is always flight! Probably because I'm such a big girl :'). This has resulted in me wandering places in the early hours and finding it hard to stay in room that remind me of panic attacks).

7. Increasing need to go to the toilet: (Sorry for TMI, but it's true!)

8. Dry mouth and hot flushes: (This is to do with blood rushing to vital places in panic I'm led to believe).

9. Visual blurriness: (I assume this is just blind panic -see what I did there- manifesting).


The mental symptoms of my panic attacks:

1. Feeling that I am going to die: (This thought is almost always present and leads to me calling either 111 or an anxiety helpline. I find them to be of limited use but in a panic situation if you don't do anything, it feels like your panic can rise. I want to work on this as maybe if I can get through a panic attack without actually panicking so to speak, I might realise there's nothing to worry about).

2. Feeling helpless, depressed, and alone: (I can feel this despite someone trying their very best to comfort me and make sure I'm okay. I think this is because of how I was treated in A+E. I've developed  the idea in my head that I'm the only one who knows there's something really bad and everyone else is wrong and can't help me -or won't-)

3. Tinnitus: (I don't know why this gets worse with stress but it just does! Mine are either high pitched sort of squeaking or a low pulsing. I've also started to think that noises similar to the ones I'm hearing that are real are actually in my head. This is probably due to heightened sensitivity to stimuli that panics me and the thought of my tinnitus getting worse panics me as I know it's linked it stress. Never ending cycle).

4. Headaches: (I'm putting this as a mental symptom rather than a physical one because...actually I have no intelligent reason. I think because headaches and brains and stuff are where thoughts happen...not sure what my thought process was here but you get the point!